Nothing Lasts Forever

Sometimes it's hard to hide the way you feel. You confess thinking that you are making things easier but they become more complicated. And then you speak what you never thought you would ever speak: a lie. When a truth is no more like a truth and a lie seems better convincing, you choose to tell a lie and walk away. When a lie seems true and the truth seems  a lie, there is no much difference in telling a lie or a truth.
***
They both met on a Facebook page: Music That Turns Me On.  Well it was a co-incident that both posted same song in that page one after another. They happened to go through each other's posts. They liked each other's post. The boy started commenting as usual and the girl couldn't stop herself from replying.
"nice song"
"yep :)"
"I listen dis song evryda b4 i go2bed :)"
"really? u must b kiddin right?"
"y wud i"
"just like dat"
"think our likes r same"
"may be...lol"

It just takes few clicks to be friend these days. And same happened for them too. He sent her request. She took time but accepted. And the night long conversations started thereafter.

Sometimes it's easier to share your things with the ones with whom you never think you can meet. As the people around you don't always value the way you feel much and people who are far away from you always seem interesting.  

She was pursuing her higher education in US. He was struggling in Kathmandu like the other 50 million people with their own dreams. He had a job that paid him enough to sustain there and to keep up his dream that someday the days would turn better. She always convinced him that he had a better future and he can achieve much more than what he thinks he can. May be people are not able to see their abilities on their own. That's why they are in search of friends who could make them believe that 'they can'.

He was happy each time he got to chat with her. Whenever he got any pretext he used to text her to be online. She never made him wait for long. She always obeyed him and gave him company whenever he wished to be with her.

He always had too many things to say to her. She was always there to listen.  Someday he would tell that it was a sort of time travel to him to chat with her. They both were on different time zones which made them stay in different date and still chat at the same time. He would talk about him spending the evening of a night of which she would not have seen even the morning. Eleven hours difference made this possible. She would always love such interpretations.

When he used to insist her to tell her stories, she would say she had none.

One day she wrote, "I know this would end someday."  
He grimaced while he read those lines. He too felt it that way. It was just that he didn't want to spoil the moment by being sad.

"One day everything would end." He replied.
"But this would end faster."
"I would love to have it for few moments than to have none."
"It would be painful afterward."
"I will take that pain as the price of this ecstasy. Is it that you want that moment to be now...?"
"Well, it's not that. I fear what if I don't want to quit later."
"That would be a dream come true."
"You don't know anything."
"Tell me everything."
"It's not that easy."
"Well, I said everything. And trust me it was not that difficult. Why should I treasure my past, when sharing it makes me feel better? Sharing my past helps me forget my 'personal history'. It helps to bring me in present. Paulo Coelho. I read in his book. "
"You always get better answer every time."
"I have to. Otherwise, I will have to lose you. ", he writes back with a wink.
"When did you get me?"
"Not in that sense."
"Just kidding...xD."

This went on and on until she told him everything: How they met after school on their way to home? How treading together even for a half a mile to their home used to be the blissful moment? How they enjoyed each other's comment on small things? How they started leaving no boundaries between them? How those moments of joy turned into the messed up hours? So on and so on ...

"He was a guy like you. So might be it was easy for him to move on. But..."
"But..?"
"Leave it. May be my last night's hangover is still there."
She left. He tried getting her back. She didn't come. This was the first time she defied him.
'He was a guy like you'
****
After many days she again appeared online. They greeted each other. The guy started.
"You were telling me something."
"When? What was that?"
"About HIM...on our last chat."
"Well, there is nothing left now."
"Do you still have feeling for him."
"See, no matter what, life moves on. It didn't stop for him neither it stopped for me. There are always good people like you to fix things right...lol"
"I'm honoured. Really?" his heart thrilled like it never did. It was like someone trickled his heart.
"Why would I lie? You made me feel better that day. I am like relieved now. There's nothing about my past that creeps on my head and keeps taking me back in those old days making me believe that nothing would last forever ...:)"

He really felt honoured. He was euphoric throughout the other day. Anyone could notice the delight on his face. He had great energy that day to turn every complicated thing into simpler. Even the late night he had had the day before didn’t matter to him that day. He was simply happy.

That night, after getting back from his work, he told his experience of that day to her. She said nothing. He said may be he wanted to treasure more of such moments in his life.
“Nothing lasts forever. Things would change.”
“It won’t.”
“I had seen them changing.”
“Well, I won’t change. I would keep loving you till my last breath.”
…………………
“See, maybe I sound so cheesy but I know one thing that I find pleasure in sharing stuffs to you and if I am not wrong you too feel the same.”
…….
“?????”
…..

This was scary. The guy started feeling some weight inside his chest. He was not prepared for this. Maybe he was hasty in his confession. But now it was becoming worse. He would not have been same had she told him something. Sometimes silence is more painful than the words.
“Please, text something, if you have ever taken me at least as your friend.”
"............"
"............"
“Sorry, I had to take a call. Are you there?”
“…”
“What were you saying?”
“Nothing. It’s just that life has been better after you have come. ”
“Well, it’s same here.”
“We can be good friends right?”
“I thought we were…. lol”
“EEEEE…. Sorry, my bad. Did you get any of my past messages?”
“Nope, what was it about? Tell me in short.” she texted.

Words don’t come so easily. Even if they come you need guts to express them. The feeling of being unaccepted always prevents you from entrusting them to the loved ones. It’s a big leap to speak your heart out. You can’t do that always. It’s more like once in a lifetime with someone you trust more than yourself. To be honest is not that easy for everyone.

“Well, I was just wondering if you could suggest me for some girl I was seeing these days.”

‘I got you boy. Someday you would thank me for doing this. I don’t know what’s wrong with you guys. Why can’t you just stay friends? When a girl becomes nice to you, why do you always have to dream of her having your babies? You have been good to me. That’s why I didn’t screw it up all. Someday you would thank me for this. I am sure of that.’

“Send me in message. I would text you later. Time for goodbyes. Catch you later. TC”
He obeyed. He picked one of the girls from his friend list and sent her profile’s link.

‘You know life would surely have been better had you accepted my plead. At least you made me believe that. Things would have changed.’


That night he slept with a lump on his throat and wet eyes. They didn’t drip but were willing so badly to do so.

Before he closed his eyes, he said to himself, “Nothing lasts forever. Not even this grief.”