Deepika Padukon's Choice
Recently, Deepika Padukon's video about women's choice was released. It came as another instalment to Vogue empowerment series. #Going_Home starring Alia Bhatt and #Start_with_Boys starring Madhuri Dixit. Both the videos were nice. Going Home made me feel ashamed of being a male and Start wit Boys made me feel that even I had been through such situations where I was discouraged to stop my tears. I liked them and so did many other people. Going Home got more than 5 million views and Start with Boys got more than one million views. There were dislikes in the video and some contrasting opinion but was such opinion were not so popular in social media.
When the third installment "My Choice" came, it went viral in social media and was seen more than 3 million times within two days. I first came across praises from everyone. And today when I woke up, there were posts saying why Deepika or the video was wrong. I thought to collect all those opinions and present it to people to reflect upon them.
To my surprise, the ones going against the video's opinion about women's choice were mostly the women themselves. Here's the one who got most attention with almost 50 thousand likes in Facebook.
This one was more funny:
Her post was shared by Unofficial: Dr. Subramanian Swami where I got to see more comments that didn't choose Deepika's Choice. Dr. Subramanian Swami's another page was deleted by Facebook few months back from now. It's content were extremely biased towards Hindus and India. Here's how the post goes:
A video by an actress named Deepika Padukone has been in circulation where she can be seen giving advice to all women.And then there was the screen shot of Deepika Narayan Bhardwaj's post. This is the post that got more than 50 thousand likes.
For example -
■ A woman can have sex before marriage
■ A woman can cheat her husband.
■ A woman can love anyone temporary
■ She can choose to love a man or a woman or both
Because....
Its her body, her mind, her Choice.
Deepika Bhardwaj, an Equal Gender Rights activist has put down some thoughts on this video.
Worth reading.
Not just the post but the most liked comments on it were also similar to the post. Here are some interesting comment on the post.
- Bharathi Prasad wonderful reply to the D Padukone's video. When I heard the video I thought I am old and not in sync with this generation. Am happy that a lot more other people have their opinions. Ultimately happiness comes from co-existing with each other.We need rules otherwise we are no better than animals.
- Parth Dhomkar An befitting reply by Shefali Vaidya
Mother to teenage daughter - Get up and study, exam hai na aaj?
Daughter - Whether I get up or not, #MyChoice. Whether I study or not #MyChoice. Whether I answer my exam or not, #MyChoice. Remember, books and classes are temporary. I am not. I may choose to attend my classes or skip them and go to a pub. To use books and pens to trap my soul is to believe you can halt the expansion of the universe. Whether I go to college or not, #MyChoice. My failure may be your pain. I may choose to be a drop-out or not. #MyChoice.
Mother - Are you out of your mind?
Daughter - You should see this feminist video Mom, it will change your life.
Mother - (After seeing the video). Give me your cell phone. Also, I am going to give away all your clothes to charity and am renting out your room from the first of next month. You are welcome to stay if you want, but please be prepared to pay rent.
Daughter - Why?
Mother - #MyChoice!
~Shefali Vaidya
- Pranitha Prakash It worries me that people consider this to be women empowerment. It worries me that this story was shared more than when Saina Nehwal became the world number 1 in badminton. I really feel we need to choose who we idolize. This just sends out a wrong message in many ways. A woman can achieve what she wants to achieve if she truly wants it and deserves it. Period
- Namrata Dasgupta Just because she is paid she cannot speak such bullshit. She is a public figure. Aishwarya rai rejected to do a fairness ad campaign even if she was paid cause the woman has some principles. Shamn you Deepika!
There are many other comments that you might like to see.
Not only on facebook but there are similar comment under the articles posted in differnt blogs and pages. I came accross one:Deepika Padukone’s video for Vogue is not empowering—it’s hypocritical . Here are some comments quoted in the blog and some quotes from the article itself.
# Quoted comments
- I love this #VogueEmpower video, but I can't help think there's something elitist in it, too urban, too upper class: http://t.co/CYcdeMCve7
— Aseem Chhabra (@chhabs) March 28, 2015
- Imagine the outrage if there was a male version of the #VogueEmpower video! Adultery, bigamy, indifference all seem cool coming from a woman
— Parinita (@reachpari) March 30, 2015
- Fashion and Bollywood thrive on women’s insecurities about themselves and their bodies. They are the propaganda machines of an ultra-narcissistic culture that is constantly telling us the right and the wrong way to do things.
- In 1991, American author Naomi Wolf argued that as women gain social power and prominence, they are under pressure to adhere to arbitrary physical standards or beauty. In her book, The Beauty Myth, she wrote, “More women have more money and power and scope and legal recognition than we have ever had before; but in terms of how we feel about ourselves physically, we may actually be worse off than our un-liberated grandmothers.”
I have few possible explanation of why there are such opinion coming from women against women freedom. Deepika Narayan Bhardwaj is a journalist and calls herself "Voice of Falsely Accused Men". These days in India, laws are being strict for violence against women in the name of dowry, sexual abuse and even rapes. For example Indian Penal Code 498 A states,
"498A. Husband or relative of husband of a woman subjecting her to cruelty.—Whoever, being the husband or the relative of the husband of a woman, subjects such woman to cruelty shall be punished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to three years and shall also be liable to fine. Explanation.—For the purpose of this section, “cruelty” means—
(a) any wilful conduct which is of such a nature as is likely to drive the woman to commit suicide or to cause grave injury or danger to life, limb or health (whether mental or physical) of the woman; or
(b) harassment of the woman where such harassment is with a view to coercing her or any person related to her to meet any unlawful demand for any property or valuable security or is on account of failure by her or any person related to her to meet such demand."Most of the people who oppose this code state that, "The offence is Non-Compoundable ( the complaint can not be withdrawn), Cognizable (compliant has to be registered and investigated) and Non-Bailable (bail can be granted only by the judge and you have to appear in the court)". This nature has made it a little bit problematic. In India and it's sub-continent, the family disputes or other social crimes are usually sorted out in police station. The victim and culprit both come to an agreement. There is some compensation given to the victim and the case is not even registered. I myself have heard about a case where a drunk husband beats his wife to death. His wife is then admitted to hospital. When she is discharged, she pleads to leave her husband and denies to file any case against him. This has all changed with 498a. The result is that there are more than 90% fake case filed against men just to put pressure on them and to have control over the family matters. Some has done it for getting hefty compensation as well. Supporting woman is a trend these days so no one listens to a man who is blamed of harassing a woman. There are some incidence where men have committed suicide after being accused of dowry harassment. Here's a trailer of a documentary which you might like to see.
Martyrs of Marriage trailer - Documentary on Misuse of IPC 498A
If you go through other posts of Deepika Narayan Bharadwaj, you would see so many posts related to this issue. I think that's the reason why she is so much against Deepika's Choice. Although there are many people accusing her of cheap publicity stunts to come in limelight by going against already popular star, she has simply thanked them.
What I have to say in this matter is that instead of going against 498a, people can ask for adding a clause to it that states, 'if found falsely accused the one filing case is to be punished depending on severance caused to the falsely accused person.' One wrong can't justify another wrong.
There are others who have specially focused on the part where Deepika says that it's her choice if she choose to have outside marriage or say commit adultery. This is where most of the people have lost their mind. Indian culture gives a lot of value to fidelity. Same is true for other Indian sub-continent. Not just in between husband and wife but also in every other relation, being faithful is regarded as a must quality. I think the point that is being missed is that if men(not every but many) are left to commit adultery since ages why is there such a big fuss when a woman says it would be her choice if she wants to commit adultery. The only thing men(not every but many) didn't do was make statement through such videos.
To know the attitude of society toward sexual lives of men and women, lets try to answer these two questions: How easy is it for a guy to be accepted by a girl if he mentions he has slept with other girls before her? How easy is it for a girl to be accepted by a guy if she mentions that she has slept with other boys before him ? The old generation in Nepal and India or it's sub-continent would expect girl to be virgin till her marriage. The younger generation who grew up in cities however challenge all the old established norms. However, I would not like to generalize the opinion carried by any generation based on my personal experiences. There are men who have married widows and women with kids in our same society.
We humans are free beings. Freedom has been our priority since the past. In exchange to security and mutual help, we have sacrificed some of our freedom and are living in society. Hence, the social norms and laws binds us from exercising absolute freedom. Yet society sometimes fails to decide what is right and wrong. Often the definition of what is right and what is wrong keeps changing. Hence, many of us choose to go against laws and social norms time and again. For example Homosexuals were opposed from publicly disclosing their identity and exercise rights(for e.g. marriage) as Heterosexuals even in USA(discrimination still exists in many parts). But then they challenged such bondages and changed society's perception toward them. A friend of mine sent me a picture of marriage of Sandhya and Alina in Kathmandu.
This was a bit shocking for me as even the developed countries are hesitating to legalize same sex marriage. We have come across Sati Pratha (in this system a widow was burnt with her husband's dead body), child marriage, abortion based on gender and many more violence against women in the names of culture. We have fought against it together. Now no one favours such things. I believe that some day sex with consent between two adults would be left as private affairs.
Then there are people mentioning that being able to make choices don't empower people. I would rather let Deepika reply that part:
- "In my family, my father is the only male in the house, but all of us have a voice,"says Padukone. "I've always been allowed to be who I want to be. When you're not caged, when you don't succumb to expectation, that's when you're empowered."
Obviously, Vogue has used women empowerment issues to popularize itself. But I think its good to throw light on social issues even if it is for advertisement. This is what VOGUE India has mentioned in the description of the video:
The aim of the Vogue Empower initiative, launched with the seventh anniversary issue, is to encourage people to think, talk and act in ways big or small on issues pertaining to women's empowerment. The message is simple: It starts with you.
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